


In Case We Don't Live Forever

by CatyCoffeebean



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Inspired by Music, Songfic, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 10:30:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18798541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatyCoffeebean/pseuds/CatyCoffeebean
Summary: Tony and Peter both realize how fleeting life is.





	In Case We Don't Live Forever

_“You put all your faith in my dreams. You gave me the world that I wanted. What did I do to deserve you? I follow your steps with my feet. I walk on the road that you started. I need you to know that I heard you, every word.”_

If there was one thing that Peter was glad for, it was Mr. Stark’s faith in him. It had taken a while to earn it, especially after his mentor had taken his suit, but at that point, he supposed he only had himself to blame. He had put people at risk in trying to do the heroic thing, and Mr. Stark had rightfully chewed him out. But now? Mr. Stark had faith in him. He was trusting him with tougher missions, by some miracle. Peter almost didn’t feel like he deserved it sometimes.

What had he done to deserve this much attention? He had a new suit, help whenever he needed it for anything, and Mr. Stark was even filling the father-figure shaped hole in his life that had been torn into him when Ben had died. Mr. Stark had done so much for him—made him into an Avenger, taken him under his wing. It was everything that Peter had ever wanted, a world that had seemed so out of his reach.

 Heck, Mr. Stark had saved him when he was young and at the Stark Expo, and everything had seemed like it would end. He had given a passing “good job” or something like that to Peter, who had been starstruck and had been trying to follow in his footsteps since. Innovation, technology—it didn’t matter what it was. If Tony did it, Peter wanted to be like him.

Peter looked at the texts from Mr. Stark, scrolled through the pictures, and smiled. No matter how much he babbled on and no matter how much it seemed like he wasn’t listening to Tony, he heard every bit of advice and took it to heart. No matter how mad Mr. Stark got at him after he did something he wasn’t supposed to, it meant something. It meant that he cared. It meant that Peter wasn’t just a random kid ‘interning’ at Stark Industries. It meant that maybe Tony looked at him as a son. And though Peter hadn’t gotten that hug yet, he swore he would. Someday.

_In case you don’t live forever, Mr. Stark, I want you to know that your support meant everything to me._

 

~

 

_“I've waited way too long to say everything you mean to me. In case you don't live forever, let me tell you now--I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around.”_

It had been one patrol. One simple patrol, but it had turned out so bad. Peter had just been trying to take out some petty criminals in some alleyway, and then the bomb had gone off before Peter’s spider-sense could kick in. It had sent him flying and knocked him out.  He had fractured ribs, a broken wrist, and a concussion. But that wasn’t even the worst of it. Steve had needed to do CPR and resuscitative breaths on him at the scene because Tony couldn’t bring himself to look at Peter lying there without feeling like he was going to vomit. His kid wasn’t breathing. God knows if there was a heartbeat.

 _His kid. His kid. His kid. Peter._ Peter wasn’t breathing. Peter was—was he dead? No, he couldn’t be. Steve wouldn’t let him die.

That was why it was such a relief when Peter had coughed as he was taken to the medbay in the Avenger’s compound. It meant that at the very least, there was a chance that he’d be okay. Tony was sitting in a chair by Peter’s bed, his hand resting on top of the teenager’s. It wasn’t the kind of thing that he would be seen doing if Peter was awake and talking—Tony had never been all that touchy or been the kind of person who enjoyed extended physical contact, including hugs, but Peter was just so clingy that sometimes Tony found himself willing to budge—yet he still wasn’t quite willing to admit that he was hugging Peter in the times that it happened. Thankfully, Peter was alive and resting, his eyes closed, his breaths coming in slowly and gently.

It was at odds with what Tony had seen earlier at the scene of the accident, and those images were sticking with him. They would for a long time, he knew. Just like everything else that negatively affected him, it would haunt his dreams for months…years even. He’d be lucky if it didn’t lead to him picking up a bottle of scotch and drinking himself into oblivion. But no, that wasn’t the kind of thing he could do now that Peter had worked his way into his life.

God, if Peter had died, and Tony hadn’t told him just what he meant to him…

Tony shook his head and gave Peter’s hand a squeeze, and he saw his eyes flutter open.

“Hey, kiddo. Don’t give me a scare like that again.”

“All right, Dad…” Peter murmured, slipping back into sleep.

Tony felt his heart jump, but he said nothing. That had a nice ring to it.

_Dad._

_In case you don’t live forever, Peter, I want you to know that I was proud to be a father figure to you._

 

~

 

_“In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth. I'm everything that I am because of you. I've carried this song in my mind. Listen, it's echoing in me, but I haven't helped you to hear it.”_

Peter leaned over the table and watched as Tony tightened a screw on the repulsor. His mentor had been so focused on his task that most of the questions that Peter had asked just went over his head and went unanswered, or the answer was very brief and didn’t receive much expansion beyond a grunt or two.

However, Tony still indicated he was listening with the occasional squeeze of a hand on Peter’s shoulder. It was a small gesture, but one that meant a lot to Peter, and warmed his heart. Peter decided to test the waters by saying something—something that Tony wouldn’t expect. It would especially test whether or not Tony was actually fully listening to him.

“Hey, Mr. Stark, I just wanted to say thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Sometimes I don’t feel like I deserve any of it, but it means a lot, and I’m only where I am since you’ve helped me. I don’t say thank you enough,” he said. “I know I can be a pain in the butt, but I’m really trying my best.” Peter put his hands in the pockets of his Stark Industries hoodie, yet another unofficial gift from Tony. His mentor had been wearing it when he showed up, but when Peter had started complaining about being cold, Tony had tossed it at his face. It smelled vaguely of Tony’s cologne and was a bit big for Peter, but it was warm, like a hug.

“No thanks needed,” Tony said, finally looking up from the repulsor on the table. “I do all of it because you’ve grown on me. You’re still a kid, and you need all the help you can get. That’s just part of it. But like I said that one time, my dad never was really there for me, so I’m trying to break the cycle of shame. Step in as a…a…mentor figure into someone else’s life.”

Peter had to resist the urge to laugh as he noticed Tony’s ears turning red. He had undoubtedly been about to say that he was trying to step in as a father figure into someone else’s life, but had thought better of it. Peter clapped Tony on the back for a moment. “It’s okay, Mr. Stark. We all know you’re secretly my dad now.”

“Get back to work, Pete.”

_In case you don’t live forever, Mr. Stark, I want you to know how much it meant to me that you stepped in to take care of me and be like a dad when I needed it most._

 

~

 

_“We've only got so much time. I'm pretty sure it would kill me if you didn't know the pieces of me are pieces of you. I've waited way too long to say everything you mean to me. In case you don't live forever, let me tell you now, I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around.”_

“Mr. Stark? I-I don’t feel so good.”

No. No _. No no no no no no no no no no_. Not him. Not Peter. No. Anyone but him.

_Take me. Turn me to ash. Turn me to dust. Not him. Not my kid._

Tony couldn’t manage any words as he turned to look at Peter, who was looking at his hands and the ground with a primitive sort of fear in his eyes. He was stumbling, like his feet were going to disintegrate right under him. And the only words that he could manage were woefully unhelpful in this instance. “You’re all right,” Tony said. What else could he say?

“I-I don’t know what’s happening,” Peter said, voice wobbly as he toddled forward like a lost child and he threw himself onto Tony, clutching at his hoodie as if it was the only thing stabilizing him. “I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go. Sir, please—” He gripped at Tony tighter, tighter, holding on for dear life and dammit, Tony wished there was something he could do. What kind of a parent could only sit there and listen to their child plead for help but was unable to do anything? What kind of a father did this make him? “Please, I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go.”

By this point, Peter was stumbling so much that Tony couldn’t even keep him upright, and they ended up on the ground, Peter lying against whatever rubble was below them. Tony kept a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it tightly. _I’m sorry, Peter. I’m so sorry. If I could fix this, I would._

Tony couldn’t speak, couldn’t get any words out past the dryness of his lips. It was as if his tongue had been cut out, leaving him unable to say anything of any merit. He could only look into Peter’s brown eyes and silently apologize.

“I’m sorry,” was all Peter said, and Tony wanted to say so much more, but then Peter was gone, dust on the wind, and Tony fell forward into the rubble, hands digging into the dirt, searching for the remnants of his son. God, his _son_. Why had it taken him so long to realize this? Why hadn’t he told Peter all of the important things? _Pete, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry._

_In case you don’t live forever, Peter, I want you to know that I love you. I want you to know that I’ll do everything in my power to get you back._

 

~

 

_“In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth. I'm everything that I am because of you. I have a hero whenever I need one. I just look up to you and I see one. I'm a man 'cause you taught me to be one.”_

It felt weird being back. The last thing Peter remembered was being stuck in some orange-tinted world, with tons of other people who had suddenly appeared there. Dr. Strange was there, he knew, and had been doing some of his strange things with his magic and then he had told Peter it had been five years out in the ‘real world’ since they had been brought in here. Where exactly ‘here’ was had never been specified, but Peter just knew it was lonely. It was lonely without Mr. Stark there to talk to, even though it felt like such a brief amount of time.

But now that he was out of wherever he had been trapped and was back in the action, he had one mission and one mission only in mind: Find Tony. And sure enough, he did find his mentor, lying on the ground and attempting to recover from whatever fight he had just been in. Peter leapt down and headed right for Tony with a running start. “Mr. Stark! Oh, my God! Holy cow!” he exclaimed as he grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. Tony looked confused, as if he was processing just what was going on and who had pulled him up.

Peter rambled for a good few seconds about what it had been like when he was gone, what he could remember, because surely Mr. Stark was probably curious about that. He was a little surprised by the expression on Tony’s face, however. He looked almost…relieved? Peter definitely caught a glimpse of tears in his mentor’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything about it.

And then what happened next surprised him even more.

Tony whispered, “Hold me kid, hold me,” and cut Peter off, pulling him into the tightest hug that he had ever received. Tears pricked Peter’s eyes and he shut them, squeezing Tony just as tight.

“This is nice.”

Tony turned his head and gave Peter the briefest fatherly kiss on the cheek before tightening his hold and resting his cheek on top of Peter’s sweaty curls.

They had gotten there after all.

_If you don’t live forever, Tony, I want you to know you helped me become the man I am today. You’re my dad. You’re my hero._

 

~

 

_In case you don't live forever, let me tell you now. I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around.”_

It wasn’t the way that Peter would have wanted things to go, and Tony knew that. He would rather be with Pepper, with Morgan, and with Peter, especially after all that they had been through over the past five years. Tony wanted to spend more time with Peter to be there for him when he went away to MIT, when he had his first beer, when he got married, when he had a child—he wanted to be there for all those milestones in both his son’s and his daughter’s lives, but it was precisely because they needed to live on that he had to sacrifice himself the way that he did.

Tony kicked his feet through the ocean waves lapping at his ankles. The only word that could describe this was the afterlife. It was the only thing that Nat could come up with. They were able to see everything as it happened in real time. It was like watching a movie from a distance, one that you could see, but was kept just out of reach. Sometimes if they were lucky, they could reach out past the waves and have a brief interaction or a brief moment of their loved ones recognizing something _more._

The first time this happened with Peter for Tony, the teenager was going through Tony’s lab. He had left the lab to Peter in his will, knowing that he would need a place for fixing his suits and for all the upkeep needed. Peter touched the keyboard of one of Tony’s computers and FRIDAY lit up the screen.

Tony had to resist the urge to reach through the waves as Peter watched the hologram left behind by his mentor for him. But he knew this was that moment when he could communicate to Peter, so he did, reciting exactly what the hologram of him was saying as he said it.

“If you’re watching this, Pete, it means I didn’t make it back. And while I hate to saddle you with all the grief that undoubtedly will come after, I know you’ll be okay. It’s fine if you have to take time to mourn, do it as much as you need to. I know you’ll be a great brother to Morguna. I know you’ll kick ass as you go through school and I know you’ll kick ass as you graduate and move on, no matter what you choose to do. I’ve left behind a lot for you, so you won’t have any trouble. Promise me that you’ll take care of yourself. Don’t let things get too out of hand as Spider-Man,” the holographic Tony said in tandem with Tony himself standing on that lone beach.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you. I wanted so badly to be able to watch you grow up and I hate to be the third person you’ve lost like this. Just know that I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you and I love you, son.”

A few tears slipped out of Tony’s eyes and down his cheeks, dropping into the waves below him. Peter cried too.

But someday, Tony knew, they’d be reunited on those shores.

_In case you don’t live forever, Peter, I want you to know I’ll be watching over you until we meet again._

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration / lyrics for this were taken from the song "If You Don't Live Forever" by Ben Platt, which really strikes me as a fitting song for these two. I also tweaked the hug scene just a little based off some BTS footage of RDJ and Tom Holland acting out the scene :')


End file.
